


pretty odd situation

by Ryan_Ross_mother



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Bottom Ryan, Dallon, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Reunions, Ryan Ross - Freeform, Ryden, Top Brendon, love triangles kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:05:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 8,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9446780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryan_Ross_mother/pseuds/Ryan_Ross_mother
Summary: the reunion didn't go as brendon planedand by that he means ryan didn't run back into his armsi mean he said sorry





	1. Brendon fucking Urie

**Author's Note:**

> (italics are memories or dreams )  
>  
> 
> basically Ryan misses Brendon...but he doesn't...but he dose 
> 
>  
> 
> (i will be updating regularly and am looking for a beta to check my work before i post let me know if interested)

_"Brendon what are you trying to say?"_

_"i'm just saying now that we have gone big we shouldn't limit ourselves ....."_

_"so you want to break up?"_

_"no no no we can still have our thing....but we can also have other things "_

_"un fucking believable"_

_"awe come on ry-ry"_

_"no don't 'ry-ry' me ever seance we got popular you turned into a douche"_

_"Ryan don't be like this"_

_"no its not panic anymore its Brendon Urie and the other guys oh and that guitar player he's gay with"_

_"Ryan your over reacting ....john help me out "_

_"well...."_

_"are you fucking serious!?"_

_"you've changed Bren"_

_"well if i'm so bad now then why don't you leave ry!?"_

_"fine!"_

_"i-...what..."_

_"i'm leaving....have fun doing your 'thing' with anyone but me Urie"_

_"ry...."_

_"no.....lets go john..."_

 

 

in other words the break up was a bit of a messy one...

after the backlash of Ryan leaving Brendon tried to make it up to him and fix thing  
Ryan excepted his apology but made it clear he wasn't comping back to the band or to Brendon

 

but as pretty odds ten year mark was coming up Brendon decided that needed to change


	2. hey its been a while

from: Brendon Urie

to: Ryan Ross  
  
hi  
this is a lot harder to write then i thought it would be

i mean

do i write it like a  serious proposition or....

i don't want to say 'like old  friends' because you made it quite clear by ignoring me for almost 8 years that we are no longer friends 

but that's beside the point

as you know or may not know as you block me and anything to do with me out of you life 

pretty odd is on ten years next year 

and i was thinking maybe 

we get the band back together

and do a remake or something 

and i know you said you never wanted anything to do with the band but

it would mean a lot to me

and more so to the fans   
anyway its just a suggestion

 

but let me know 

 

 

from: Ryan Ross 

to: Brendon Urie   
  
  
i have conditions 

 

1

i'm doing this for the band and for the fans not for you 

 

2

this doesn't mean i'm coming back forever its just for the remake   
  
3

i'm coming back to the band not to you if we do this its as friends and only friends Brendon

 

now if we are clear on that message me the dates for recording   
  
  


 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Brendon smiled as he read the email  
even now Ryan was still Ryan

straight to the point and in charge when it came to his music   
he knew he would soften up he always did...

  
  
  
  
  
_"this is just diner Brendon don't get any ideas"_   
  
_"hmmm whatever you say ry ry"_   
  
_"i mean it Urie i'm not like that"_   
  
_"ry last night you where blowing me"_

 

_"that doesn't count!"_   
  
_"sure..."_   
  
_"i hate you"_   
  
_"no you don't"_   
  


_"your an idiot"_

_"your idiot ?"_

 

_"lets just see how dinner goes "_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayeeee this is a bit different from the first two but its kinda what the rest of the book will be like also still looking for a beta/ editor thingy to check before i post

Brendon was pacing in the studio waiting for Ryan

they had agreed to meet a day before the others to "sort things out"  
  


"dude chill it’s been like eight years he’s probably gotten over it and over you"  
  


Dallon was sitting and tuning the guitars

"I know...but...he was my first"

Dallon smirked  
  
"awe is Brendon nervous around his first boyfriend "

Brendon glared and Dallon pouted

  
"well I’m going to some beer and watch this train wreck start"  
  
Dallon patted Brendon’s back before walking down the hall

Brendon watched him leave before his attention was drawn back to infrount of him

"am I early? “

  
it was Ryan

but it wasn’t

I mean it WAS Ryan but it wasn’t his Ryan

he was different

he was older

that was obvious

no makeup that’s a shame

he’s also taller

and a lot more wore out then his younger full of life self

almost nothing like his Ryan

but he had the eyes

the soft brown eyes that could only be Ryan

"Brendon?"

he realised he had been staring at Ryan and not answering him  
  
"oh no no sorry .... Dallon just gone to get some drinks"  
  


Brendon moved forward to hug Ryan who swiftly took a step back and looked down  
  


"I... sorry "

Brendon muttered

he knew it would take time for things o be normal but they would get there  
  
"man Brendon told me the old guitar player was cuter that me but damn"

Dallon joked walking into the room and braking the stiff silence  
  


Ryan laughed walking past Brendon to shake Dallons hand  
  


"so your the replacement"

Ryan joked back smirking and taking a drink from his hand  
  
"wow....the great Ryan Ross ....Brendon's told me a lot about you "  
  
"bet he has"  
  
Ryan muttered under his breath before taking a sit of his drink causing them both to look up at each other and snicker  
  
Brendon just chewed on his lip  
  
"so the album "

Brendon said breaking up the conversation

"hmm?....oh yeah yeah...so what did you have in mind?"  
  


Ryan pulled his eyes away from Dallon and looked over to Brendon  
  
"have you talked to john?"  
  
Ryan sighed  
  
  
  
  


\-----------------------------------

_"Ryan, we left for a reason.... YOU left for a reason"_

  
_"I know I know but this is different"_  
  
_"no its not Ryan he just wants you to go back so he can act sorry and things will go back to the way they were!"_  
  
_"it’s not like that! I made it clear it was for the fans not for him and that we where just friends!"_  
  
_"you really didn’t learn anything the first time ry..... that’s what he always says...."_  
  
_"John......please it won’t be the same"_  
  
_"no Ryan...if you want to be his puppet go ahead but I meant it when I said I was done with the band_

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

 

"he said no.......but that’s ok...Dallon can sit it"  
  
Ryan said looking back over to Dallon who just shrugged  
  
"but Spencer said he would be happy to record again but said he was a bit iffy about a tour or anything "  
  
Brendon just nodded  
  
"so its sorted ?"  
  
"yep just give us a date"  
Ryan smiled  
it gave Brendon a feeling of peace  
like something that had been digging at him for years had finally stopped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: Ryan-Ross-mother 
> 
> i do ryden shit posts


	4. jealous

the next thing Brendon knew they where all walking around the studio  
Dallon offered Ryan a tour 

witch was kinda un Dallon of him  
but Brendon didn't think much into it 

passing it off as him bring nice because Ryan was nervous

"why don't I order pizza and we have diner here....like old time Ryan?"

Brendon suggested seeing how late it was

 

"sounds good to me"

Ryan smiled sliding his hands into his pockets 

 

"OK i'll be back in a few"

 

Brendon walked down the hall to get reception leaving ryan and dallon alone in the sitting room

"so you and Brendon used to ...... ?"

 

Ryan bit his lip and laughed awkwardly 

"yep....it was intense....but i guess having a proper relationship didn't fit he 'rock star lifestyle' "

Ryan shrugged sounding more bitter then he meant to

"so are you and him a thing now?"

Dallon chocked on his drink 

"god no!...unlike you, me and him really are just friends ....I have no idea how you dated someone with an ego like that"

Ryan just laughed 

"he wasn't always that way....it wasn't until some one told him 'no' and walked out that it got really bad "

 

Dallon just nodded guessing he was talking about himself 

"so do you have anyone in your life right now?"

Ryan looked up

"Dallon are you asking if i'm single?"

Dallon laughed 

"just curious if anyone can recover from dating Brendon as long as you did"

"well i have had a girlfriend and a boyfriend sense but to answer your question right now i'm single"

"good to know "

Dallon wriggled his eye brows causing Ryan to laugh again

Brendon walked back in and gave Dallon a wired look

Ryan knew that look

a look he hadn't seen in years but he still knew it

the look he had when the accusation of him sleeping with Pete came out   
the look he gave interviewers that hit on him  
was.....was he jealous? 

 

not that Ryan cared .....

he made it clear where him and Brendon stood 

they weren't together and he would let Dallon fuck him if he damn well pleased 

but there was still something hot about Brendon still being protective after all this time

or maybe he was reading to much into it 

 

either way it wasn't going to end well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: Ryan-Ross-mother


	5. It's ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this really late at night enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 5 wooo
> 
> still looking for a beta to help out

It was the first day or recording   
they decided to started off with the album intro 'were so starving' despite it bring one of the harder ones seeing as it includes everyone singing   
but Brendon saw it as a good first reunion song

of coerce there was only one line they all sung together but it was still fun

although Ryan's opinion changed slightly after all four of then piled in together into the booth

 

there was a moment of awkward laughter when his backed was pushed up against Dallon but was was put to a stop when Brendon pushed in between them 

 

but recording only took a few takes and then they where all set off to do different things 

 

Brendon had to record the rest of the vocals and Ryan and Dallon where left alone to do base and guitar recordings 

 

"you know Brendon's really happy your back....he really did miss you..."

Dallon said making small talk as he set up everything

'' i know....i guess i missed him too in a way....just not in the same way....."

Ryan fiddled with the strings

 

Dallon just nodded 

 

"i don't blame you"

Ryan looked up

 

"for....?"

"for breaking up....both the band and with Brendon....i know a lot of people give you shit...and even Brendon after was just ....angry....but i get it....you had to show him you where more than just 'ryden' or 'Ryan AND Brendon'.....and you couldn't do that and stay......you had to make the choice of living and 'Brendon and Ryan' or Ryan Ross and you chose what was best for you.....and that's OK..."

Ryan just looked down before getting up and hugging dallon tightly hiding his face in his chest   
Dallon just rubbed his back   
he felt safe   
like nothing that was happening outside could hurt them

just like Brendon used to make him feel 

but its not the same

when Brendon held him it was deeper   
like he felt something for Brendon and Brendon felt it back

right now he left safe but he felt cold 

Ryan tried to convince himself it was in his head

"you ok now?"

 

Ryan nods realising they have been hugging for an awkwardly long time 

"sorry....just all of this is stressing me and bringing back memories ...."

Ryan pulled back wiping his eye

 

"its ok ry.....you can do this and still be just Ryan Ross"

Ryan smiled at him again

hearing Dallon call him ry didn't feel right   
but he passed it off as another thing he was reading to much into

"we should start recording soon..."

 

Ryan said breaking the silence and Dallon just nodded in agreement 

the rest of the day felt stiff and awkward neither of them wanting to talk about that had happened 

 

"and i think that's a wrap for today"

dallon smiled as Ryan finished up

"thanks for helping me out Dallon"

Dallon was smiling 

then  
he wasn't 

Ryan kissed him.....without thinking almost like a reflex just quick and sweet 

 

Dallon just stood there

then he leaned down and kissed Ryan again   
this time longer and deeper 

Ryan wishes he could say he didn't kiss back or that he pulled away....but he didn't   
it wasn't until dallon broke the kiss that Ryan just nodded before leaving fast and heading home without sating goodbye to Brendon or Spencer 

he just went home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: Ryan-Ross-mother 
> 
> for ryden shit posts


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the beginning is a dream thingy if anyone was confused

_"shh ry ....it ok....i'm  here"_   
  
_"Bren?"_   
  
_"yes ry i'm here its alright "_   
  
_"Bren i'm sorry..."_   
  


_"its ok ry ry.....but you cant keep doing this ry.....you need to tell me...or him...or someone...."_   
  
  


  
\-----------------------------------------------

Ryan woke up suddenly feeling cold 

he didn't need to go in to record today

and he knew that meant he would be getting a call from Dallon to hang out

he liked Dallon....a lot  
he was funny and sweet and a really good base player   
but it wasn't the same 

and maybe that was a good thing...

I mean him and Brendon ended in disaster 

so maybe it feeling different was a good sign  
  
but he'd be lying if he said getting attention from Brendon the past few days didnt' feel good  
  


even if he was openly avoiding talking to him  
  
  


but why

in a way Ryan knew if he started talking he wouldn't stop  
he'd end up saying the wrong thing...  
but they where going to be working together all year and he needed to bite the bullet 

 

 

\---------------------------------------

 

Ryan walked into the almost empty studio  
  
Brendon always liked to record alone 

well he used to record just him and Ryan but that hasn't happened in a long time....

 

Ryan knocked on the door   
even through Brendon probably couldn't hear him 

he opened the door slowly giving warning he was entering   
  


as he suspected Brendon was alone 

his face it up as he saw Ryan walk in but he didn't stop singing 

Ryan sat down and listened to him

  
he was working on 'shes a hansom woman   
  
Ryan smiled   
he loved that song 

  him and john wrote it together......

he wished he was here  
but its his choice   
  
he just sat and listened for a while 

he missed just hearing Brendon sing 

soft without editing   
just him

like Brendon was singing to him...

  
"Ryan?"  
  
his snapped out of his thoughts when he saw that Brendon had stopped singing and had said something 

  
"hm?"  
  
"i asked if it sounded ok?"  
  
Ryan nodded   
  
"yeah that was amazing Bren "  
  


Ryan smiled softly as Brendon walked out of the booth  
  
  
"so what brings you here ? you're not in today"  
  
Brendon picked up the water bottle he had left on the table 

  
"well i had nothing else to do and i haven't heard you sing like that in ages so....i figured id come down and keep you company ....if you don't mind "  
  
Brendon finished his drink

  
"not at all....just thought you would be doing something with Dallon"  
  
"why would i be with Dallon?"  
  


Brendon shrugged 

  
"you two seam to be getting close "  
  
Ryan blushed lightly  
  
"i...its not ....like that....not like you"  
  
"and what dose that mean ry?"  
  
"i mean how we used to be....its not like that 

"isn't that what you told people about me?"

 

Ryan froze 

then Brendon laughed 

 

"i'm messing with you ry "  
  
Ryan laughed stiffly  
  
"I just noticed you two had been very giggly and touchy ..... but if you say its nothing then i believe you"  
  


Ryan felt guilt come over him and make him feel dirty 

Brendon really had blind trust in him....


	7. Am i good ryry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " i will.....answer 5 questions be it about Brendons past or about me and i will answer them 100% honest"

over the last week things had calmed down  

Ryan and dallon both just ignored the kiss

Brendon and Ryan had rebuilt some form or normality back

even to the point of making gay jokes again  
  


Ryan was starting to feel something he hadn't felt in forever   
  
  
  


\-------------------------------------------

"Ryan its time to go home its getting late"  
  
"no not yet i need to get this done right "  
  
"Ryan it sounds fine lets just go everyone else is gone...hell Brendon has gone"

Ryan was trying to get the cords absolutely perfect before they packed up for the day and Dallon had stayed back because Ryan had promised to get him food 

"i need just a bit longer please Dallon?"  
  
Dallon groaned and Ryan pulled puppy eyes 

witch he had found out can get him just about anything he wants from Dallon or Brendon

"you owe me Ross"  
  


Ryan smiled 

"how about you order take out aaaaaaaand as a bonus i will.....answer 5 questions be it about Brendons past or about me and i will answer them 100% honest"  
  


Dallon smirked and nodded 

  
"alright sounds fair.....ill be back in a bit and don't think i'm holding back"  
  


Ryan just laughed and kept recording till dallon got back and took the guitar off him   
  
"ok break time !"

Ryan rolled his eyes but sat down and pulled out the food   
  
"you have five lets go "  
  


"is Brendon a bottom bitch? he always says he isn't but i don't believe it "  
  
Ryan burst out laughing almost chocking on his food  
  
"seriously! ?"  
  
Dallon just shrugged   
  
"no he is not the 'bottom bitch' he wasn't lying about that one"  
  
Ryan ate some more food before he had to answer more   
  
"so you where the bottom bitch?"  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes 

"are you going to waste your second question on a obvious answer ?"

"ok ok never mind....so is Brendon...good?"  
  


dallon wriggled his eyebrows 

  
"dallon i haven't been with him in eight years.....but it was the best I've had...."

Ryan turned red and quickly took another mouthful of food

and dallon snickered 

"seriously?"  
  


"as annoying as he can be, in bed he knows what hes doing "  
  
"is he....packing heat?"

dallon said trying to keep a straight face while continuing to eat  
  
"bigger then you would think"  
  


they both made eye contact and burst out laughing

"good to know...ok ok next....how was the kiss?"  
  


"what?"

"you heard me "

"god your ego is just as bad as his "

"ouch"

"its true 'was this kiss god ry?' 'am i good in bed ry?' 'tell me how big it is ry ry"  
  


Ryan mocked using a high voice to impersonate  Brendon making dallon laugh  
  
"shut up and answer"

  
"you're fine dallon "  
  
dallon smirked 

"thank you .....ok serious question time"

Ryan took a sip of his drink   
  
"shoot "  
  
"do you.....do you think you and Brendon still save something...."  
  
"depends...is that what you want to use your last question on?"

 

"why dose it matter ?"  
  


"well i said i would answer with 100% honesty.....do you really want the 100% truth"  
  
dallon just paused and looked down  
maybe he was being a bit to harsh

 

"its late dallon...ill see you tomorrow ok?"

 Dallon just nodded and Ryan stood  up and grabbed Dallons jaw before kissing him softly

Dallon ran his fingers through Ryans 

Ryan pulled pack   
  
"oooh Dallon "  
  
Ryan said in a mocking tone earning him a push from dallon that he laughed off   
  
"see you tomorrow dude "


	8. so i'm the best you've ever had ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "fuck you urie "
> 
> "if memory serves me right it was the other way round "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probs ganna do an au after this what do you guys want to see ?
> 
> either like a fever era juvenile prison thing that i would probs add more emo bands into 
> 
> or a student teacher au??
> 
> what do you want to read? idk

Ryan spent the next day finishing up his cords and recording backing vocals   

 

he was avoiding any of the love songs because well

 

he wasn’t ready to dig up those memories yes   


 but that was proving to be more and more difficult as he started to notice a lot of them where love songs in one way or another....  
  


so instead he just worked on cords  


it had been a looong time sense he had played them

 

he vaguely remember most of them but Brendon had gotten him the sheets just in case   
  
he was finishing up and needed the last few notes and started going through the pile Brendon had given him  


nine in the afternoon

  
northern dow- nope 

 

golden days

 

oh

 

that was from Brendon’s new album

he had heard it a few times and it was good

but Brendon could make anything sound good

not that he would ever say that to his face 

he didn’t need anything blowing his ego 

 

Ryan looked over the words 

He’d like to think they were about him....but with all the people Brendon has been with it was slim   


just out of boredom he started playing the first few notes of the chores

  
"oh don’t you wonder when the lights begin to fade..."  
  
Ryan started softly sing while playing   
  
" time can never break your heart but it can take the pain away"  


Ryan had slowly gotten more and more into the song   
  
until he headed someone clapping and almost fell out of the chair   
  
"sounds good ry ry"  
  
Ryan wanted to punch him in his perfect smug face   
  
"fuck you urie "

"if memory serves me right it was the other way round "  


Ryan turned red and pushed him

 

"shut it "  


"make me "  


"god you really are a child "  
  
Ryan put his guitar down  


"but you did sound good ry"  


he rolled his eyes 

 

"still using that nickname ?"  
  
"old habits die hard....you should know that "  
  
Ryan ignored the remark   
  
"why are you here ?"

 

"other than its my studio ? Dallon said you two had 'bounding time' last night and you started acting wired when he asked you about me "  
  
Dallon was a dead man   
  
"well yeah ...it’s not something I want to talk about....what....what else did he tell you?"  
  
"not much......so I’m the best you’ve ever had ?"  
  
Brendon smirked cockily 

 

Dallon was a very very dead man   


"don’t think into it urie I haven’t been with that many I’ve reframed from man slutting unlike you "  


Brendon pouted 

"don’t be like that because your salty ry"  
  
He was one to talk about salty

  
"do you ever shut up?"

 

Ryan leaned back into the chair   
  
"there's always the way you used to shut me up"  
  
Brendon’s smirk grew   


"are you saying if I suck your dick you will shut up?"

 

"..............maybe"  


fuck it   
  
Ryan got up and grabbed the back of Brendon’s neck kissing him   


Ryan could just tell he was grinning   
  
"this doesn’t mean anything urie "

  
Ryan mumbled   
  
"it never dose "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr @Ryan_Ross_mother


	9. hello kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "awe dose ry not want Dallon to know he’s fucking someone else "

Brendon pushed Ryan up against the wall kissing him hard

 

 

Ryan had missed this

Ryan had been with "rough guys" before

but nothing compared to Brendon

 

it was like it was natural to him

 

 

 

but that was the only thing he missed......he didn’t need Brendon....or want him back....it was just sex.... right?

 

 

 

 

 

"Ryan, you alright?"

 

Brendon pulled back noticing Ryan was unresponsive

 

Ryan snapped back to reality and nodded

 

 

"I’m fine Bren"

 

 

Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon’s neck not noticing the use of the nick name

 

 

 

Brendon grabbed Ryan’s hips pulling him closer

 

 

 

"Ryan?"

 

 

Ryan heard Dallon in the hallway and pushed Brendon off him

 

and tried to straighten himself out before Dallon walked in

 

"um...should I....leave? Or?"

 

Dallon could see Ryan was flustered and Brendon was just smirking

 

"no no no its not.... not like that...sorry "

 

 

Dallon just laughed

 

 

"whatever you say Ryan......just...let me know when you ready to head out for lunch "

 

Ryan nodded

 

 

"yeah I’ll be out in a minute"

 

 

Dallon walked back out to the hall

 

 

"awe dose ry not want Dallon to know he’s fucking someone else "

 

Brendon pouted and Ryan shot him a dirty look

 

"it’s not like that"

 

Ryan started packing up

 

"the same wat we are 'like that' "

 

 

 

Ryan froze

 

 

 

"no... Dallon is just a cool guy we aren’t 'like that' or like us we are just friends "

 

Ryan was more so trying to convince himself then Brendon

 

"dose Dallon know that?"

 

 

"yes"

 

 

Ryan didn’t sound very sure of himself but Brendon just let it go

 

"have fun at lunch then"

 

 

 

Ryan walked back out to the hall to see Dallon waiting on his phone

 

 

"ready?"

 

"yep"

 

Ryan and Dallon started walking out together

 

"just so you know me and Brendon aren’t .... anything"

 

"Ryan its ok.... if you and he are."

"were not!"

"ok ok"

 

 

Ryan groaned

 

"it was just Brendon being an idiot"

 

"I believe you ry"

 

 

Ryan just smiled and Dallon stopped walking

 

 

 

Ryan turned to Dallon only to have Dallon lean down and kiss him

 

it took Ryan a moment to prosses but he kissed back and after a while Dallon pulled away

 

 

"we should make hello kisses a thing.... your lips are soft "

 

Ryan just blushed and punched his arm making Dallon laugh

 

 

but on the inside Ryan was panicking

 

 

maybe Brendon was right

 

 

I mean 'shut up' kisses and 'I just need you here' kisses where different

 

it’s not that he didn’t like them

Dallon kisses where soft and sweet almost the opposite of Brendon’s

 

and Ryan did like Dallon a lot .... but it didn’t feel right

 

but Dallon knew they were just friends .... right


	10. the bees and more bees ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "so, I want to change my question"
> 
> "what?"
> 
> "I had one question left remember? and I want to change it"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short thing thats here

Lunch with Dallon went good 

Ryan kept trying to pay because he made Dallon wait in the hall for him but Dallon was having none of it and Ryan eventually just accepted 

Ryan felt bad like he was leading him on but Dallon didn’t have a problem so why should he 

 

"so, I want to change my question"

Dallon started talking as they walked back to the studio with lunch for Brendon 

"what?"

"I had one question left remember? and I want to change it"

Ryan tried to look calm but was a little bit panicked after what had he had just saw…. or more so almost saw  
But Ryan wouldn’t call fumbling to hide his boner a smooth recovery from it

"shoot"

Ryan took sip of his soda hoping his voice didn’t sound as shaky as it did in his head 

 

"is Brendon....kinky?"

Dallon said trying not to laugh 

not the way Ryan thought he would end that sentence but...

"depends what you mean by kinky"

"ok ill rephrase .... what is he into "

Ryan laughed 

"nothing wired ...I mean he never shuts up in or out of bed if that counts? other than that he made me suck his fingers? and cuffed me to the bed a couple times .... that was about it.... but he was pretty young at the time and I had to teach him a lot seeing as a Mormon family birds and bees lesson didn't cover what to do if there were two bees “

Ryan shrugged and Dallon laughed 

“my family was the same….so now I know what Brendon’s into….do you have any-?"

"you’re out of questions "

Ryan blushed and Dallon snickered 

"guess I’ll have to earn more "

he whispered in Ryan’s ear

"oh, look was here "

he ran inside hearing Dallon laughing behind him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr : Ryan_Ross_mother


	11. rain and chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan started to remember when Brendon used to sneak out to visit him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spam posting a bit

' come over '  


a simple enough text  


the question was who to send it to

  
Ryan had two choices   


Dallon

 

that could end one of two ways   


weird oddly sad sex that they would both feel bad about   
or drunk making out and crying  
  
then there was Brendon   


he had no idea what would happen if he came over   


well he had some ideas ...

 

Ryan started to remember when Brendon used to sneak out to visit him  


 

\---------------------------------  
  


 

_rain was rare in Vegas but when it rained it stormed_   
_and something about storms made his dad extra mad and scary and the power being out didn’t help so he just locked himself alone in his room and put head phones on almost not hearing the knock on his window_

  
_"Bren?"_  
  
_Brendon was on the second story window sill drenched_  
  
_Ryan ran over and let him in_  


_"I know you hate storms so..."_  


_Brendon pulled out a box of chocolate_

_"how did yo-...you’re fucking crazy...if my dad sees you he will hit you...you know, that, right?"_

_Brendon just shrugged_  
  
_"better me that you"_  


_Ryan just rolled his eyes and snuck down the hall bringing back fresh towel’s locking his bedroom door again and walking back to Brendon and drying him off_  


_"you’re an idiot "_  


_hr got Brendon a hoodie and track suit pants_  


_Ryan tried his very best not to stare at the front of Brendon’s soaked boxers as he got changed_  
  
_"you mind if I take them off?"_  
  
_Ryan tried not to turn red and just nodded_  


_Brendon smirked at him and slid them off before putting the sweat pants Ryan gave him on_  


_Ryan was bright red and changed the subject_  


_"so how did you escape Mormon prison?"_  


_Brendon dried up but kept his shirt off_  


_"put a pillow under the covers and jumped out the window"_  


_"so, you jumped out a second story window travelled four blocks in pitch black rain the climbed up what you assumed was my house and what you hoped was my bedroom to just to give me chocolates?"_  


_"pretty much "_  


_Ryan hit him on the back of the head_  


_"stop doing stupid shit to impress me you’re going to get yourself hurt"_

_Brendon laughed_

_"awe come on I know you love it...plus those chocolates cost like an entire shift pay so enjoy them"_

_"Brendon!"_  


_Brendon just kissed Ryan’s nose making him turn red again_  


_"I’m aloud to spoil you ry ry so deal with it"_  
  
_Ryan rolled his eyes and hugged him giving him one of his earphones and that’s how they spent the rest of the night_

\-------------------------------------  
  
Ryan smiled   


he knew it wasn’t like that anymore but he could pretend   


he clicked on Brendon’s contact and sent the message   


from Bren   
'how about you come over mine and I make dinner?'

 

not the way they used to be but close enough 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: Ryan_Ross_mother


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " if I tell you stuff it stays between us ry....trust goes both ways"
> 
> he ran his thumb over Ryan’s lip
> 
> "I know Bren...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last one for tonight

Ryan took a cab not wanting to leave his car near Brendon’s house in case people saw  
  
as he arrives he awkwardly knocked on the door   


"Ryan, I invited you, you can just come in"

 

Ryan laughed and walked in 

 

Brendon’s place was huge   
  
much bigger then the place Ryan was staying   
  
"I’m in the kitchen!"  


Ryan walked down the hallway  


if Ryan didn’t know better he’d think he was compensating for something...

 

"hope you like pasta because that’s all I can make "  


Ryan sat down at the breakfast bar to see Brendon finishing up  


Brendon wasn’t wearing a shirt but that didn’t really surprise Ryan  
  
"I see your cooking ability hasn’t changed "  


"we are not home a lot there is no point "  
  
that was true his diet the past week and a half was almost all fast food   


"do you always cook half naked too?"

"if I say yes will come over more?"  


Ryan rolled his eyes and threw an oven glove at Brendon   
  


"so, what’s up? you wanted me to go over yours so that normally means somethings wrong "  


Ryan chewed his lip  


"can we have dinner first?"

Brendon nodded   


"the table is set if you want to sit down"  


Ryan sat down at the table and Brendon follows with a pot and put some pasta on each of their plates  


"thanks Bren "

 

Brendon then handed him a drink  


"looks like you need it"  


Ryan just nodded   


"so, are we going to talk about what’s bothering you?"  


Brendon sat down across the table  


"not yet....I... just want to feel normal for a bit...."

Brendon took a sip of him drink  


"I wouldn’t call dinner with your ex-boyfriend and band member normal......but if this is what you want "

 

Ryan smiled softly and started eating   


"I take it back you have gotten better at cooking "  
Ryan started eating more

 

"flattery will get you nowhere "  


"who says I’m trying to get anywhere with you"  


Brendon pouted and Ryan laughed   


"I miss this ...."

 _I miss you..._  


"I do to ry"  


they finished up dinner and watched a movie   
  
Ryan sat on the other side of the couch

"Ryan I’m not going to eat you why are you sitting over there "  
  
Ryan moved over slightly and Brendon pulled in into his lap

 

Ryan tried to act like it didn’t bother him  


but he could feel Brendon pressed against him   


"something wrong ry ry?  
  
Ryan could hear him smirking 

 

"not at all just getting comfortable "  


Ryan wriggled his hips on Brendon’s lap and saw all the colour drain form Brendon’s face   
  
"ry..."  
  
Ryan leaned in to kiss him only to have him lean away  


"Ryan don’t make this hard.... I could be a dick and pretend you’re ok and this is just sex…. but...tell me what’s wrong "  


Brendon sat up and looked at Ryan 

 

"I... its Dallon...I just.... I shouldn’t be talking to you about it..."

 

"Ryan whatever happens or is said here stays between us.... this can be a safe place for you ry..."  


Ryan just leaned into Brendon’s chest  


"that sounds nice ...."  


Brendon tilted Ryan’s head up to look at him  


"the same goes for you.... if I tell you stuff it stays between us ry....trust goes both ways"

 

he ran his thumb over Ryan’s lip  
  
"I know Bren...."  
  
Brendon smiled   


"good...now tell me what’s up with you and Dallon"  
  
Ryan sighed   
  
"I... I love him...his funny and sweet and perfect...but..."  


"but?"

 _he's not you..._  
  
"there is just something missing.... I want to be with him and make him happy...and I want to kiss him every day and have cute pet names.... but I still want to be just friends ....is that bad...it sounds bad..."  


 

Brendon kissed his head   
  
"well it sounds like you want to be with him to make him happy....you just want a friend but you think that’s not good enough for Dallon....and you want kiss kisses because Dallon had the best kisses ....but i think you should talk to him...or not it’s your life"  
  
Ryan felt better hearing someone else say it..  
  
he leaned over and kissed him this time Brendon didn’t pull back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: Ryan_Ross_mother


	13. supper shitty chapter with supper shitty smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "not little Mormon boy anymore "

the text was a bit of a surprise 

seeing as he thought Ryan hated him

but if Ryan was giving him a second chance he didn’t just want pity sex 

'how about you come over and I’ll make dinner?'

Brendon had no idea how to cook....

but for Ryan he tried   
he started cooking right away forgetting to finish getting dressed but he could do that later 

or not seeing as Ryan showed up before he had even finished cooking 

he looked like he’d been crying and tried to hide it 

he made small talk and managed to make him smile which was good

 

he then served dinner and tried to pry a bit into what was wrong with only made him close

Brendon just dropped it 

if he wasn’t going to tell him why he was sad he was at least going to make him happy and forget what’s bothering him why while he was here 

 

after dinner Brendon but on a movie

Ryan loved that when they were teenagers 

they would have movie nights at spencers and he would it in the giant arm chair with Ryan on his lap

 

 

_______________

 

they were watching rocky for the 100th time 

to be fair spencer only owned a hand full of movies   
Brent’s parents saw them as a waste of money   
Ryan would be dead if he touched his dads stuff   
all the movies Brendon had where about religion and cartoons about converting to Mormonism witch his mother did encourage him to being to movie nights 

 

as spencer lip synced the movie perfectly as he had probably seen it more then all of us

he felt Ryan’s hand rubbing the bottom of his stomach   
it wasn’t unusual for Ryan to rub his chest or play with his hair but this.... was new...Brendon liked it but it was new

next thing he knew Ryan was kissing his neck

not like his normal little kisses and nuzzled 

they were open mouth kissed up his neck to behind his ear

this was all new to Brendon  
he grew up with   
'sex is only for your wife!'  
it was not something you just did for pleasure or fun and it was most definitely not something you did with another boy

Brendon had tried to act causal about it 

but that didn’t go to plan when he cried after the first time him and Ryan made out 

but he had gotten better since then...kind of 

he felt Ryan’s hand slowly getting lower and tried to stay focused on being quite 

Ryan’s hand slid into his boxers and Brendon looked like a tomato   
Ryan ran is hand down Brendon’s length 

"knew it..."  
Ryan whispered  
knew what?

Brendon didn’t really care at this point 

Brendon had never got off properly

his parents didn’t believe in door locks and constantly checked up on him   
so, do doing it himself was never an option   
not that he really thought about it till he met Ryan   
and Ryan’s walls where thin so that just wasn’t a good idea 

Brendon had a few ideas but Ryan made it clear his first sexual experience with Brendon was not going to be in a car or the school bathroom

Brendon felt Ryan wrap his hand around him

"if you get semen on my blanket I will cut your dick off"

Ryan just laughed and slid his hand out of Brendon’s pants making him groan 

"later Bren"

Ryan kissed his cheek

 

\--------------------------------------

 

it felt nice to have Ryan in his lap again

he was warm and still smelt like Ryan always did

next thing he knew Ryan was trying to kiss him

everything in Brendon’s body was screaming at him to just go for it but he couldn’t   
Ryan wasn’t doing this because he was happy  
Brendon couldn’t pretend Ryan was ok and after this everything would be ok

"Ryan tell me what’s wrong"

it was the first-time sense they started recording that Ryan had talked to him  
Brendon had promised him a safe place and intended to keep it

then Ryan kissed him again but this time Brendon didn’t pull away instead resting his arm on Ryan waist

he pulled Ryan back into his lap biting his bottom lip causing him to moan softly

he’d missed that sound 

"can we...bedroom?"  
he heard Ryan under him

"sure"

he stood up and threw Ryan over his shoulder 

"BRENDON!"

Ryan yelped and Brendon just laughed running to his room and throwing Ryan on his bed

he just flopped against the pillows and looked up at Brendon who took his shirt and jeans off and jumped on top of him

"fuck... "

Ryan looked up at him 

"I just missed you ryro"

Brendon started kissing at Ryan’s jaw causing him to tilt his head and Brendon worked his way down

"Bren..."

Ryan moans blushing at how loud he was 

"so, it is still me who makes you sweat?"

Brendon smirked and slid Ryan’s shirt off

"i will go home if you don’t shut it"

he rolled his eyes 

"ok ok fine "

Brendon slid his hands into the back of Ryan’s jeans 

"I... uh...can...can you turn the light off..."

Ryan didn’t look him in the way but could tell he was grinning 

"seriously?"

Ryan just turned red and Brendon got up turning the light off and turning the bedside light on so he could still see Ryan face

"better?"

Ryan shifted so he was commutable and nodded 

Brendon kissed him again and grabbed his ass

Ryan squealed and Brendon tugged Ryan’s jeans off and opened his legs 

"you look hot like this ..."

Brendon kisses Ryan’s thighs

"b-Brendon will crush your head if you keep teasing"

"that’d be hot.....is someone impation?"

Brendon licked Ryan through his strained boxers 

Ryan just death glared him with looked cute with him all flustered 

"don’t worry ry ry I’m getting to that...I’m guessing none of your exes where into foreplay or showmanship "

Ryan just bit his lip and saw an opportunity 

"nope...just hard and fast and then toss me aside...but it was so hot...to be used .... sometimes I’d think about you...say your name...they didn’t like that"

Ryan took one on Brendon’s hands and softly sucking on two fingers without breaking eye contact 

Brendon’s eyes had gone dark 

he either fucked everything up or just made everything better 

"if that’s how you want to play...no more stopping you’re mine...got it?"

"o. ok"

as soon as the words left his mouth Brendon took his boxers off and had two fingers in Ryan

"I shouldn’t bother stretching you seeing as you like it fast"  
Ryan knew Brendon and knew if he wasn’t stretched Brendon would split him in half.... witch he didn’t mine 

 

what? Ryan wasn’t a size queen or anything.... he just enjoyed things bigger

Brendon stretched Ryan but only with two before butting Ryan’s legs over his shoulder 

"let me know if you need to stop ry"

Brendon pulled Ryan’s hips forward and pushed into him giving him a moment to adjust before moving   
he started slow but quickly picked up pace and rhythm 

"Bren"  
was the only word Brendon could make out of Ryan’s mumbling and moaning 

 

it wasn’t long till Brendon felt himself getting close and was slamming into Ryan

 

"Bren I’m..."

he felt Ryan tense around him triggering his own release 

 

he road oud his orgasms with slow thrusts before he pulled out

 

"not little Mormon boy anymore "

Ryan laid back out of breath 

"that’s nothing princess “

Brendon winked making Ryan laugh

 

"don’t call me that "

"why not? you moan like a girl?"

Ryan would have punched him if he wasn’t so tired 

"stop being a bitch and cuddle "

Brendon rolled his eyes and pulled Ryan closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr Ryan-Ross-mother


	14. sing me to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part of him wanted to get back at him 
> 
> to spit in his face while he was vulnerable

over the past week or so visits to Brendon’s house had become more frequent 

a part of him felt guilty and dirty for doing this behind Dallon’s back 

but he needed it

someone to talk to and vent and know it’s a safe place.... sex was good to 

ok sex was great and why Ryan kept going back 

but Brendon didn’t need to know that   
and dallon didn’t either 

 

he had also come to love post sex cuddling and pillow talk 

Brendon was soft and warm and it was nice to have someone to talk (and sometimes sing) you to sleep 

 

_____________-

 

Ryan was wrapped up in one of Brendon’s big blankets to cover himself while Brendon had just stuck with barely covering his hips with a sheet because he had no shame 

"ry can I ask you something?" 

Brendon was playing with Ryan’s hair and staring at his neck that Ryan found out he was obsessed with and was very upset when Ryan wouldn’t let him mark it 

"sure"

Ryan relaxed in his touch 

"what happens after this? after the album...."

Ryan rested on his arm 

"I don’t know ...."

Brendon pulled Ryan closer 

"could I convince you to stay.... with me and dallon.... you’ve been so happy the past few weeks and I’ve finally got my Ryan back.... I don’t want to lose him again"

 

Ryan felt his heart drop

it never dawned on him that Brendon might be the one developing feelings 

part of him wanted to get back at him 

to spit in his face while he was vulnerable 

but he couldn’t 

 

"you can try...."

Brendon just smiled and kissed him softly


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Brendon he’s drunk out of his mind what the fuck are you doing?"

Ryan groaned 

he had agreed to go out clubbing with Brendon and dallon 

mostly so he could get dallon laid and feel less guilty about fucking Brendon

but that didn’t make it any more bearable 

he hated the club scene 

loud music half naked girls dancing and drunk people everywhere 

he just didn’t fit in 

currently dallon was chatting up a blond that Ryan had pointed out to him

and Brendon was dancing and taking photos with people 

"come dance ry"

Ryan declined and just sat ordering a bunch of different drinks

he didn’t even realise how drunk he really was still he tried to get up and Brendon had to run over and catch him 

"carful ry ry....how much have you had?"

Ryan just giggled pointing to the accumulation of glasses on the bar   
Brendon bit his lip knowing he should have kept a closer eye on him  
Brendon put Ryan’s arm over his shoulder 

"ok I think its home time "

Ryan started squirming 

"I need to pee"

Brendon groaned and took Ryan into the bathroom realising how rapey it looked 

 

"ok now go so we can leave "

Ryan just pushed Brendon onto a wall using all his weight 

"I don’t want to "

Ryan tried to kiss Brendon who turned away 

"sweetie you’re drunk"

"am not"

Ryan protested 

"ok let’s get you home "

Brendon tried to pushed him off but Ryan wouldn’t let him and started rubbing the front of his jeans 

"ry ry not now"

Ryan dropped to his knees 

"yes now"

Ryan licked the bulge forming in Brendon’s pants 

"what the fuck?!"

they look over and see dallon standing in the door way

"dallon! come join us "

they both look down at Ryan 

"what!?"

Ryan just started giggling and fell over backwards 

"Brendon he’s drunk out of his mind what the fuck are you doing?"

dallon scooped him up

"it’s not like that"

dallon just rolled his eyes 

"whatever let’s just get him home"

dallon but him in the back of the car and started driving 

"dallon I mean it I was trying to push him off"

dallon just rolled his eyes 

"sure, urie because everyone secretly wants you and it wasn’t till he was so drunk he was almost past out he decided to act "

Dallon was clearly pissed 

"no it’s not like that ...."

Brendon was starting to see how bad it sounded 

"ever think maybe if he still even had the slightest interest in you at all he would just fucking tell you? he’s been ignoring you for a reason Brendon! he won’t even come out half the time because he knows you’ll be there! all this time you’ve just been drooling over him I’m the one whose actually talking to him and making him feel welcome!"

 

"yeah dallon you made him feel so welcome that for the past week he’s been fucking me behind your back!"

 

dallon just stopped the car 

Brendon realised what he had done

Ryan would forgive him eventually but for now he just didn’t need rape charges from dallon of all people 

"no... he would have told me"

 

"dallon I’m-"

dallon had punched him hard against his jaw 

Brendon just shut up the rest of the drive home

they pulled up at dallons house 

"we all stay here tonight and fix this in the morning..."  
Brendon nodded 

 

after Brendon had set up in the spare room dallon came in with an ice bag and handed it to Brendon mumbling an apology before heading off to his own room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr Ryan-Ross-mother


	16. Chapter 16

Brendon didn’t get any sleep 

and his face felt numb 

he could hear dallon up but didn’t want to get up yet 

then he saw Ryan at his door 

"where are we?"

he was pale and looked very sick 

"Dallon’s place.... I fucked up"

Ryan just sat on the end of the bed and I told him what had happened 

"I’m sorry Bren..."

Brendon just hugged him and kissed his head 

"I made breakfast "

dallon awkwardly interrupted 

Brendon helped Ryan into the kitchen and dallon gave him coffee 

 

"so what do you remember from last night?"

Ryan sighed

"I was watching Brendon and drinking and I didn’t notice how long it had been or how much I had....until I tried to get up and fell over ...but I didn’t fall over Brendon was holing me up...then I needed to pee and then we were in the bathroom and tried to kiss him but he wouldn’t let me...and then I was on the floor and I saw you .....and that’s about it besides random bits of yelling in the car and then I was in bed "

dallon just looked over at Brendon

"Bren I’m sorry...I just...I over reacted ...."

Brendon hugged him 

"its fine dallon...if it was anyone else with Ryan I would have been the same "  
Dallon just smiled and hugged back 

"kiss and make up?"

they both gave Ryan a wired look

"or not"

he mumbled

"I mean I’m down "

Brendon pulled back

"not happening "

Ryan pouted and dallon groaned kissing Brendon quickly 

"happy?"

"very"

Brendon smacked Dallon’s ass and made Ryan giggle 

"so...you two are back together?"

Ryan chocked on his coffee and turned red 

"what!?"

"Brendon told me"  
Ryan was red 

"you told him!?:  
Dallon just smirked 

"so it’s true?"

"maybe"

Ryan mumbled into his mug 

"ok but I expect drunk bitchy sex story’s "

 

"deal"  
Ryan laughed 

"so, you’re not mad I didn’t tell you?"

Ryan asked 

"well it was obvious you never got over each other.... just happy your happy ry...and if you’re ever not happy I get to punch Brendon’s smug face again"  
Dallon said a bit too happy for Brendon’s comfort 

 

"sounds good to me "

he giggled 

Ryan felt calm

everything was fitting together now and he felt happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr Ryan-Ross_mothrt


	17. final chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don’t like the name Ryan ross.... I think Ryan urie sounds better...."

  
the remake was done and the reaction was huge   


and it only blew up bigger when Ryan and Brendon came back out as being together  


and the tour was amazing and they were at one of the last places   
  
  
cape town  
  
Ryan had mixed feeling about going back but Brendon was determined   
  
  
they had just gone out with the opener 'we're so starving' and then Brendon dose his opener   
  
"Ryan Ryan Ryan..."  
  
what  


it wasn’t abnormal for Brendon to do gay shit during the opener   
  
but this was different   
  
something was off...

 

"Ryan ross"  


Brendon stood behind him and wrapped his arms around him making the crown react   
  
"I don’t really like that name ...."  


was he going to dump him in cape town as revenge  
  
then he remembered   
  


_"I don’t like the name Ryan ross.... I think Ryan urie sounds better...."_  
  
  
was he....  
  
"I think we should change..."  


he spun to in fount of Ryan and took his hand  
  
"George Ryan ross the third "  
  
Brendon said doing a "proper " ascent which made Ryan roll his eyes despite the fact he was almost crying 

 

"will you marry me ry ry"  
Brendon needled down 

Ryan wanted to die but was also happier than he had been in forever   
  
"if I was yes will you stop being so dramatic?"  


Brendon scoffed and acted mock offended   
  
"yes I will marry you, you fucking asshole "  


Brendon slid the rig on before picking Ryan up and spinning him  
  
"if you drop me I will give the ring to Dallon and marry his emo ass instead "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so thats it the end...
> 
> ive never finished writting a story before but i wanted to move on so thats it
> 
> so long and good night
> 
> *****eddit the next chaper is the end but its kinda sad so if you like the happy ending stop here and leave *****


	18. dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wasnt going to add this but fuck it

but none of this happened, did it?

as much as Brendon wanted it and came up with a thousand different scenes played out in his head (this one being his favourite)

as much as the thought of Ryan back made Brendon happier then anything this was all just a what if story

what if Ryan still had feelings?

what if he accepted his apology?

what if Ryan had even bothered to message back...?  
  
  
_"I messaged Ryan about two months ago,…. but he never really got back to me"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last bit is a quote from him but i dont remeber where from so enjoyy


End file.
